Boundaries

We have all heard that we need to have healthy boundaries for ourselves, but knowing what that looks like for each of us is difficult. It can also change depending on the context of the situation or relationship in which we find ourselves. If we are too protective, we risk cutting ourselves off from others. If we are too soft, we risk over-sharing our own energies.

I have been learning to recognize both the patterns that deplete my energy and the habits that can help renew my energy for myself. We can find support in others at times but the benefits of self care can go much deeper and be more sustainable. By demonstrating love to yourself, you free yourself from the expectations of others and you remind yourself of your own power. Keeping in touch with my own power of love, keeps me more emotionally stable. I can then more effectively navigate the stresses in life that I will inevitably encounter that are beyond my control. This may sound like simple logic but can be difficult to implement when you have people you love who are in need themselves.

If you have been able to tap into your own well of strength and positivity, then others will be drawn to your energy. They see in you what we all want for ourselves, energy. When people are coming to you as the source, this can become draining for you. They do not do this out of malice but rather a lack of understanding of how to find their own well of love and energy. For me, I saw this happening as I have been setting myself up to be happier in life. And as a loving being I want to others to be happy as well. Sharing my happiness with them helps to a degree, however, there does come a point where I cannot just be their source of energy but need to renew myself. So with setting up those appropriate boundaries for my own renewal, it can also be an opportunity to inform others that this is what they can do for themselves. So when I find myself becoming emotionally imbalanced or energetically depleted then I need to pause and give myself some time.

In order for this time to truly feel restorative, I need to impose those boundaries clearly and with love. I also need to be aware of the habits to employ that actually help renew my energy.

Imposing boundaries lovingly has taken some practice but I find myself getting better at it. I state clearly that I need the space and that this will benefit myself but also those with whom I am setting up the boundaries. By taking this space, those relationships will be healthier, happier and sustainable. I then must follow through and truly not allow myself to be too easily drawn out by the all too-common distractions of life, such as: a phone call, texts, emails. . . I also must be disciplined with myself to employ healthy habits like: meditation, yoga, writing, pursuing a passion, etc. . . Those things which I always say I wish I had more time for. Well, now I do. I must also avoid the easy distractions of escapism, such as: TV, video games, etc. . .

Now that I have the time and the space for myself, I must be responsible to myself and take charge of my own happiness. When I do that, I am grateful to those who have helped demonstrate these healthy habits, I am grateful to hose around me who have respected my space and most importantly, I am grateful to myself for the self-care. The renewed present self is grateful to the past, tired self for taking the time and creating the space to renew.