Rhythm

On a nice summer day, I was walking through my neighborhood with my woven bag slung over my shoulder. After completing my walk, I sat down with friends and took the bag off to sit it down on the ground. That is when I saw my leg and the pen marks. It took me a few moments but I realized that this was the result of a pen that was sticking out of my bag and the bag swinging back and forth as I walked. It created this wonderful design.

This brought my attention to the rhythms we all go through daily. Sunrise, sunset, wake up, go to sleep, wash, rinse and repeat. I was pleased with the steadiness of this design when it was done unknowingly. I felt that I was in a rhythm that was comfortable. I felt in the flow.

To me, being in the flow is when I am in motion, getting things done but not feeling frantic, not feeling rushed. I’m accomplishing tasks with the full confidence that they are happening in the proper time and that there will be enough time for all that is suppose to happen.

There are two thoughts that have helped me find this more frequently. The first is to make time for that which I deem important. The second is to accept that if something takes more time than I expected, then it was needed. That may mean that I am late to something else but the task I’m involved in deserves my full attention and deserves to be fully completed. If those things are not true then it probably wasn’t that important to begin with. That is okay to recognize too.

The other part of that is that I continue to be mindful of the responsibilities which I take on and to give a bit of buffer time in between. I am highly bothered if I commit to something and fail to follow through and so I work harder these days to not over-commit myself. I also work to remind myself that if something is not getting done, I will simply communicate that clearly to anyone else that would be affected and see if there can be an alternate plan to get the necessary tasks done. What I won’t do is shame myself for not accomplishing everything all the time. That harms my own spirit and still does not accomplish the task. I will be patient with myself and others.

What does being in “the flow” mean for you? What prevents you from feeling this harmony in your routines? What can you change? What do you not have control over to change? When have you felt in “the flow”?

I also believe that my rhythm doesn’t always stay the same. Some times I feel the need for my rhythm to be slower and other times I can be happy with a quicker pace to my day. The change in rhythm might depend on my mood, my physical energy, or the type of task that I’m involved in. Through it all, I am working to be aware, to be mindful of my rhythm and how I feel as I am completing the tasks. It is not just the accomplishment of tasks that is important but how we feel as we are in progress.

Struggle

This has been a tough week for me. I have experienced some extreme high and low emotions. I have been incredibly frustrated at obstacles in my path and incredibly grateful for friends around me. Through it all I have seen how these struggles that force me to ask for help, then strengthen the connections with those around me that I go to for support. Asking for help means putting yourself in a place of humility and so it can be tough for those of us with a fair amount of pride, ego. Learning to loosen my grip on my own ego and accept help means that I then feel closer to those friends who are able to help.

Our attachment to our ego causes a lot of pain. It is important for us to remember that we are all imperfect humans doing our best. It is also important to remember that you can ask for help but should not expect it. If someone says they cannot help, understand that they have their own reasons for that and do not allow yourself to judge their situation. Then when you find those that can help, remember to express your gratitude and allow yourself to be vulnerable with them. It is important that we find those people who we can be vulnerable with.

Hawk and Squirrel

Yesterday, while I was watching the sky become grey and a hawk landed on my fence less than 10 feet from me. It was impressive and I could see the beautiful striped tail feathers and speckled body. I believe now that it was an immature Cooper’s hawk. Then a large squirrel hopped up onto the fence and was watching the hawk. I realized the hawk had something in it’s talons. It began eating this smaller creature which seemed to have been dead by now. It was incredible to watch nature, to wonder what the context of these two animals has been.

In nature, sometimes one creature must be sacrificed to nourish another creature. I don’t know that there is some grand lesson in all of this other than the simple reverence for the beauty and brutality of nature that I felt in that moment. That I could hold that dichotomy in my spirit and not feel a conflict in those two impressions: beauty and brutality.

Boundaries

We have all heard that we need to have healthy boundaries for ourselves, but knowing what that looks like for each of us is difficult. It can also change depending on the context of the situation or relationship in which we find ourselves. If we are too protective, we risk cutting ourselves off from others. If we are too soft, we risk over-sharing our own energies.

I have been learning to recognize both the patterns that deplete my energy and the habits that can help renew my energy for myself. We can find support in others at times but the benefits of self care can go much deeper and be more sustainable. By demonstrating love to yourself, you free yourself from the expectations of others and you remind yourself of your own power. Keeping in touch with my own power of love, keeps me more emotionally stable. I can then more effectively navigate the stresses in life that I will inevitably encounter that are beyond my control. This may sound like simple logic but can be difficult to implement when you have people you love who are in need themselves.

If you have been able to tap into your own well of strength and positivity, then others will be drawn to your energy. They see in you what we all want for ourselves, energy. When people are coming to you as the source, this can become draining for you. They do not do this out of malice but rather a lack of understanding of how to find their own well of love and energy. For me, I saw this happening as I have been setting myself up to be happier in life. And as a loving being I want to others to be happy as well. Sharing my happiness with them helps to a degree, however, there does come a point where I cannot just be their source of energy but need to renew myself. So with setting up those appropriate boundaries for my own renewal, it can also be an opportunity to inform others that this is what they can do for themselves. So when I find myself becoming emotionally imbalanced or energetically depleted then I need to pause and give myself some time.

In order for this time to truly feel restorative, I need to impose those boundaries clearly and with love. I also need to be aware of the habits to employ that actually help renew my energy.

Imposing boundaries lovingly has taken some practice but I find myself getting better at it. I state clearly that I need the space and that this will benefit myself but also those with whom I am setting up the boundaries. By taking this space, those relationships will be healthier, happier and sustainable. I then must follow through and truly not allow myself to be too easily drawn out by the all too-common distractions of life, such as: a phone call, texts, emails. . . I also must be disciplined with myself to employ healthy habits like: meditation, yoga, writing, pursuing a passion, etc. . . Those things which I always say I wish I had more time for. Well, now I do. I must also avoid the easy distractions of escapism, such as: TV, video games, etc. . .

Now that I have the time and the space for myself, I must be responsible to myself and take charge of my own happiness. When I do that, I am grateful to those who have helped demonstrate these healthy habits, I am grateful to hose around me who have respected my space and most importantly, I am grateful to myself for the self-care. The renewed present self is grateful to the past, tired self for taking the time and creating the space to renew.